Consequences #68 Attachment the greatest enabler

If I was honest, I have been trying to write this blog for a while. If it wasn’t for the increase of DeltaCrom (or whatever the latest name may be) as 2022 got underway, my hesitations were intensified as the Australian east coast inclement weather brought much flooding and damage. In tandem the world at the time and still is currently under threat – due to the war raging between Russia and Ukraine.

I find myself feeling extreme emotions from enjoying life in my safe bubble in Australia recognising that some parts are doing it more tough than others but can’t help feeling nothing but sadness and terror for the many displaced people – most recently in Ukraine. Although a satire and with the title Emotional Weightlifting this clip kind of explains my discourse extremely well!

In writing this Consequences Blog #68 I hope to deconstruct my discourse describing it as being part of a bigger discourse – even bigger than the RoadMap for Uncertainty (my current writing project – see Consequences Blog #67). By this I have spent much of my thinking time being committed to my 2022 goal of beginning to draft the RoadMap for Uncertainty and crafting my memoirs along the way.

With Attachment being the very first check in of the RoadMap for Uncertainty I am constantly reminded how many attachment issues are currently being brewed at what appears to be an alarming rate. Whether it be families separated through COVID isolations or weather limitations or the absolute extreme of families being displaced with nowhere to go.

At the same time as writing the above I am also aware I often hear many stories from colleagues, family, and friends where connections with others have been strengthened during these times and some of the simpler things in life have become the most important.

Being keen to not get trapped in too much negativity and working through what I refer to in my memoirs as using your superpowers (<trauma >balance = better decision making in uncertainty) I am encouraged to look to the future. Interestingly I found this recent article – Vanity Fair – an awesome distraction on what I suggest is also a wonderful example of the extreme paradigm shift that there are some blessings to be living through- but maybe not for everyone?

Yes, I did use the word blessed even though there are many struggles that exist within our collective now. The Vanity Fair article shares a story of being part of the unknown or unreal world and some important values/actions that are important for this new paradigm. The article is about the Musk family Unit (pre the Twitter take over – not that it makes any difference).

As I explored the world of Elon Musk, his partner – Grimes (Claire Boucher) and two children X (boy) and Y (girl) I propose they present a unique family unit example of the future. There is no judgement as I write this statement but the point, I am hoping to make is their relationship has some similarities to other displaced lives with a major (and stress the word major) difference around choice and financial positioning.

Drilling further into the Vanity Fair article it highlights many attachment issues including the example of their lives and always being unable to stay anywhere long term and therefore always being on the move

We move and move and move – because people keep finding where we live (Grimes)

This interestingly is no different in attachment terms whether it be is from COVID isolation, inclement weather, or war. Now I understand how you may be thinking the world’s richest man and his alphabet family surely have no need to fall into any attachment traps and yes you may be very right. The key point I am referring to in both this blog and as part of the first step in the RoadMap for Uncertainty is the importance of the values/actions of attachment.

As we all travel the paradigm shift from the now into the unknown and hope for an improved future one of the fundamentals or enablers for this paradigm shift will continue to be around the importance of attachment.

As I continued to read the Vanity Fair article and expand my insight into a life living in such a future an unknown space, I was most captured by the way Grimes described her relationship with E (getting with the fam lingo)

“We keep having this conversation where E asks -Are you real? Or are we living in my memory – are you like a synthesis E-companion that was created to be a companion here?”

 Once again and with no judgement the above statement fits the world for the Musk + clan and as an extreme provides some insight into the future that for us all (including the Musk clan) is so unknown. This is the way it has always been but during paradigm shifts especially at the point of extremes – which I would argue we are currently experiencing – being clear on important values or actions to be carried into the future becomes paramount. Hence my argument about the importance of attachment and the need to reduce attachment issues.

My argument is strengthened by the first check-in of the RoadMap for Uncertainty which is ensuring decisions are made with the reduction of attachment issues. Using the example of living in Mars I note an undercurrent and tension for the Musk clan (+extras!). Elon is planning to go first with Grimes following and then tickets for the children X & Y – all of these arrangements unknown but within the confines of space and time travel.

Recognising that some of the above may seem too futuristic it is useful to maintain a reflection on attachment both in the now and future. Having reflected on my own attachment issues I have recognised attachment and the attachment strengths that I was given best demonstrate the importance of self-regulation and ability to enhance this as a skill and prerequisite to building resilience. Throughout my memoirs I am sharing some of my resilience stories in hope that they are of use to enable both myself and others to be able to answer the following question and be clear what values and attachment actions must be brought into the unknown.

“Are you okay and attached with yourself? – Meaning is your ability to self-regulate and do no harm set in a way that is not only good for yourself but for others who you share space with?”

It is my hope that ranging from folks like the Musk’s (who are living in a different stratosphere to the many) and each individual reader of this blog collectively and individually can answer these questions because it is my belief that relating to attachment issues is the greatest future enabler of all.

I hope you have enjoyed a sample and insight into this first check-in of the RoadMap for Uncertainty – any comments are most welcomed- even from a Musk!

Consequences –Dr Jayne Meyer Tucker, aka DrJMT is a social engineer and helps humans and organisations make #betterdecisions during uncertainty. Drawing on her global experiences in social transformation and her PhD research exploring the systemic tension between structure (governance) and spontaneity (leadership), Jayne has created the Balance Point – a transformative philosophy to make #betterdecisions within a framework to STRADDLEuncertainty with relationship building and decision-making traits that make #betterdecisions the E.A.S.Y Way. Jayne has worked in Executive Board/CEO and consultancy roles with several NGO’s, corporate and government agencies in Australia and internationally.

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